


Talks With Jason

by shnuffeluv



Series: Masks [2]
Category: Bull (TV 2016), NCIS
Genre: Arguing, Compromise, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Gen, Multiple Personalities, Multiplicity/Plurality, Switching, Tony DiNozzo is Jason Bull
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 11:51:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16117862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shnuffeluv/pseuds/shnuffeluv
Summary: A sequel toA Mask is a Mask (Unless It's a Person)that I promised ages ago. What happens when Jason and Tony have to get back to New York?





	Talks With Jason

When Jason came to again, he was standing in the middle of their old bullpen, and everyone was looking at him. He frowned. "What?" he asked. "Why is everyone staring at me?"

"Jason?" Gibbs asked.

"Yeah. What just happened?" Jason asked.

McGee laughed. "Tony came out to comment on my beard."

"You know what?" Jason asked. "The sad thing about that is that I actually believe you. I  _actually_  believe that Tony would come out of hiding after two years  _just_  to do that."

The smile on McGee's face slipped just a fraction and Jason knew that McGee knew something was off. Why did Tony have to be such good friends with this man? Their body could only create so many different idiosyncrasies and tells. And Jason and Tony had always had similar tics. "Do you want to get any coffee or anything?" McGee asked.

He could use a cup of coffee, but he knew that was just a pretense for McGee to start talking to him in private, badgering him about what was wrong. And he really didn't want to talk about his feelings on this to someone who wouldn't understand. "I'm fine, thanks," he said.

"It's nice to meet you, Jason," Bishop said. "Thanks for looking after Tony."

Jason gave her a thin smile and nodded his head. It was an exhausting job, and often a thankless one. Having someone finally acknowledge what he was doing, even if it was only focusing on one of the people he worked to protect, was nice.

"So, I'm confused," the one guy Jason didn't recognize said. "You...you're Tony, but you're not Tony."

Jason squinted. "No, I'm Jason. I'm not at all Tony. We just share a body."

The guy continued to look him over. "You look the same."

"What were you expecting?" Jason bristled. "Some violent change in behavior?"

"Nick," McGee warned, shooting a look at the man.

"This disorder is designed to blend in, not to stand out," Jason continued. "Of course we look the same."

Nick squinted. "Gibbs was calling a...Antonia," he said. "She your girlfriend?"

"She's Lila's," Jason said, narrowing his eyes.

"How does that work?" Nick asked. "How do you date someone in there without dating everyone there?"

"Nick!" McGee exclaimed.

"I know you're thinking it too!" Nick snapped.

"Doesn't mean I'm going to ask those personal and prying questions!" McGee shot back. "Behave!"

Jason inwardly smiled, even though he said nothing. The fact that McGee was going to stand up for someone he barely knew was something...strange and foreign, to him. If people wanted him to stand up for them, they usually did things for him in one way or another. Buttered him up, tried to get on his good side. This wasn't any of that. It was...refreshing.

Nick scowled and went back to his desk, muttering. Jason didn't bother focusing on him for more than a few seconds. He didn't need to get angry again, he didn't want a lecture from Tony, if Tony showed his face again to Jason at all.

_"Jason, I'm hurt,"_  a familiar voice said from close by. Tony's voice.  _"You think I wouldn't say hello to you once I got out of dormancy?"_

"You certainly didn't seem eager to stick around," Jason muttered.

"What?" Bishop asked.

"Oh. Uh...Tony was talking up here," Jason said, tapping his temple. "Didn't realize I responded out loud."

Tony's blase attitude about this whole thing did have Jason a little miffed, though. Tony had gone dormant for  _two years_  and just expected to come back and have everything stay the same? No, that wasn't how this worked! Jason had a life of his own now, and he didn't want to give it up! And he  _knew_  that sooner or later Tony would want to fight for his life back. Even if he said he didn't.

...Wow, maybe he should see a therapist. This was complicated.

"Jason? You okay?" McGee asked, though his voice sounded vaguely distorted.

"Fine," Jason growled, even as he massaged his forehead. He knew Tony was trying to switch back out. This sort of thing only happened when two gatekeepers were trying to vie some control from the other. But this was  _his_  life now.  _His_  body as much as Tony's. He deserved a life of his own, too!

"You sure?" McGee persisted.

"Don't  _do_  that!" Jason bellowed, pointing at McGee. "Don't badger me when I don't want to answer your questions! I know myself better than you  _ever_  will, so don't think that just because you knew Tony, that you get to know all about  _me_!"

His breath was heaving in his chest, and McGee just stood there, mouth shut. Much to Jason's surprise, he didn't pale or cower away. He looked surprised, sure. But not terrified. Everyone else was staring at him, and he growled. "I know you all are thinking of me as Tony, and I  _don't appreciate it_ ," he spat. "Tony was gone! This is  _my life_  now! He doesn't have a place in it! He lost that right the day he walked out on all of us!" Mortified that he was crying, Jason wiped the few tears that had fell from his eyes off his face.

McGee continued to say nothing. Nick was gawking. Bishop had shrank away from him. Gibbs was revealing nothing on his face. "Jason," he said, "Stop shouting."

Jason took a breath and let it out slowly from his nose. "Why?" he asked. "Am I not allowed to be angry?"

"No, you're allowed to be angry," Gibbs said. "But do you really want  _Vance_  of all people interrogating you?"

That was a fair point. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm tired," he sighed. "This is whole day has been a mess. I don't want to deal with it. Unfortunately, I have to."

"No you don't," Gibbs said. "Not alone, at least. We're here to help you, if you need us."

Jason laughed bitterly. "You don't even know me," he scoffed.

"Does that matter?" McGee asked. "Really, does it? Because we help people we don't know every day."

_"They're good people, Jason, you can trust_   _them,"_  Tony said.

_"Clearly I can trust them more than I trusted you,"_  Jason hissed back.  _"You left us all in Paris. You're incredibly lucky that I know a bare minimum of French to order a plane ticket to New York."_

Tony didn't say anything, but Jason could feel the hurt radiating from him. He sighed. He didn't want to be like Idris. He didn't  _want_  to hurt Tony. But he really couldn't deal with him right now.  _"Just...give me some space, will you, Tony? I survived on my own for two years. I'm not_ completely _useless."_

"I suppose it doesn't," Jason finally said to McGee. "Maybe not to you. But, you know. Getting back to New York, to pick up Tony's daughter from our dad and go home, I'd rather be in the car with someone I trust."

"You trust me?" Gibbs asked.

Jason shrugged. "I guess."

"Good. I'll drive you back up there," Gibbs said.

Jason blinked once, twice. "You serious?" he asked.

"Well, McGee drove you down here, didn't he? You don't have a car to take you back up there, or even to an airport. The others can work on the case without me for a couple hours. McGee's capable of keeping them in line."

"There's a sentence I never expected to hear," Jason said. "No offence, I just knew you since you were a probie," he directed to McGee.

"None taken," McGee said. "I wouldn't have believed Gibbs either if that were my baseline."

Jason snorted. Gibbs walked past him and Jason, on instinct, followed. When they got in the elevator, they were the only two people there. Gibbs looked him over. "I know Tony wants to talk more," he said.

"Do you  _want_  to talk to him?" Jason growled.

"It would be nice, but you had a point back there. This is your life now. Tony can have his moments, but you put in the work to become yourself. He can't, and shouldn't, take that away from you," Gibbs said calmly.

Jason nodded. "Glad we're on the same page, then."

"Is Tony?" Gibbs asked.

Jason paused. Tony was stewing behind him, boring holes into his head. He obviously was going to take the first chance he got to front. And how long would he stay out? As long as he needed to in order to assert dominance? Would he go to Jason's job? Talk to all his associates and spill the beans? What was next? "I don't think so," Jason said.

"Then maybe I should talk to him. In your own time," Gibbs said. "We've got the rest of the day."

Jason swallowed. His hands shook subtly. "What happens if he refuses to leave front?" he asked.

"I can shoot him, that would probably bring you out," Gibbs offered.

Jason chuckled, though it sounded slightly hysterical. He blinked, and suddenly he was in the Inner World again. He sighed. "Tony..." he muttered to himself. "Whatever. Maybe Gibbs will talk some sense into you."

* * *

The second Gibbs saw Tony was out, Gibbs smacked him on the back of the head. "Hey!" Tony exclaimed, rubbing the back of his head. "What was that for, Boss?!"

"Forcing Jason back when he didn't want to leave," Gibbs said simply. They got to Gibbs' car and Gibbs got in, forcing Tony to follow. "What's the deal with you two?" he asked.

Tony shrugged. "Does it matter?" he asked.

"If it means that you two can come to an agreement about taking control and both have your own lives, then yes, it does matter. A lot," Gibbs said, pulling out of the parking lot and immediately heading to the highway.

Tony rubbed a hand on his face and he grimaced. "Ew, does Jason even bother to shave? I'm all stubbly."

"DiNozzo," Gibbs growled. "You're not answering my question."

Tony shrugged. "What do you want me to say? I was abused as a child so Jason learned to take the hits for the team? That there's another alter named Idris who also did that and grew to resent everyone, so we keep him locked up in a cage? That the one little piece of innocence we have left never gets to front because now we have a kid of our own? Or that there's another side to that same coin, who remembers everything that happened, and she doesn't realize we ever left the abuse?! Or maybe you want me to tell you about the time Lila didn't realize she was part of a system and tried to get a sex change, and Jason was the one who had to stop her! I don't know, Gibbs, there's a lot of history to go through between Jason's life and mine, and not all of it is sunshine and roses!"

"Tony, breathe," Gibbs said.

"No!" Tony exclaimed, voice breaking. "No, I won't 'breathe' just because you tell me to! I have a right to be angry!"

"What you  _have_  is a reason to get sick if you don't even out your breathing and your gag reflex kicks in," Gibbs said.

Tony took a deep breath, and then another. His eyes traced the movement of the other cars on the highway. "I don't want to give up my chance at a good life, Gibbs."

"Who says you have to?" Gibbs asked. "Jason has a job, he has the legal name, but that doesn't mean you can't do things too. You can watch movies with Tali, you can have dinner with your father. On long weekends you can come down to DC and see us, if you want."

Tony scoffed. "Who would want to see the freak?"

Gibbs was so startled by that statement he nearly crashed his car. "You are  _not_  a freak, Tony. You're the same man I've always known and cared for. You just happen to have some company that we're getting to meet, bit by bit."

Tony shook his head. "You make it sound all romantic. It's not. It's not romantic to wake up in bed with someone you've never known. It's not romantic to wake up in the middle of a street driving a car, with no idea where you were going. It's not romantic to lose the one person you may have ever loved, and that grief making it too hard for you to live on, but having other people that you have to stay alive for, just because they share a body."

"Ah, Tony," Gibbs said, pulling over to the side of the road before hugging the man. "You'll get through this, all right? You've done it before, you can do it again. We'll help you."

Tony sighed wiping at wet eyes. "I'm alive, whether I like it or not. I was the  _host_  Gibbs, I don't want to give that up."

"You gave it up when you tried to go dormant, and succeeded," Gibbs said. "But Jason relies on you to an extent, that much is obvious. He might be doing all the heavy lifting, and doing the work that brings in your paycheck, but that doesn't mean you can't have your moments too. You're raising a daughter, DiNozzo. Plenty of moments to have there."

Tony sighed. "I guess I'll have to talk it over with Jason some. But hopefully we can find something that works out."

Gibbs gave Tony a small smile. "That's all I really ask, Tony. And just know that when Christmas comes around, you're always invited to the party at my house. And I'd love to see Tali again."

Tony returned the smile and offered a laugh. "I'm sure she'd love to see you too, if Jason continued to call you 'Grandboss' like I used to."

Gibbs chuckled. "Grandboss?" he questioned.

"Well, Dad got the grandpa title of 'Pop-pop,'" Tony said with a shrug. "And Victoria called Ducky 'Grandducky,' so I just...sorta..."

"Hey, I like it," Gibbs said. "And maybe tonight I can have dinner with you and Tali and we could talk about times you can visit, and how that would work with Jason and Lila?"

"Sure," Tony said, letting out a breath. "It's not gonna be easy, I have to warn you."

"Maybe not," Gibbs said, pulling back onto the road and flooring the gas. "But it'll be worth it."


End file.
